"And how should I presume?"

The unsophisticated ramblings of an unenlightened twenty-something who hopes to, one day, change the world.


Cast of characters:

The Anna to my Elsa (and tag)
The Michael to my Wendy Darling (and tag)
The Wash to my Zoe (and tag)
The John to my Sherlock
The Keladry to my Alanna
The Mal to my Zoe


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Posts tagged "transphobia"

superqueerartsyblog:

Comic about slurs and offensive jokes, published in the Galago magazine last summer. 

(via pistoletdefleurs)

hexgoddess:

Not liking penis isn’t transmisogynist.

Equating penis with man, equating being a lesbian with not liking penis, erasing trans women lesbians, treating trans women’s bodies as revolting, pretending that criticism of transmisogyny is just trans women trying to get into your pants (related: pretending trans women transition to get into your pants), pretending cis lesbian women who like trans women who have penises are actually bisexual for that, ignoring how structural oppression paints certain bodies (like trans women’s) as less desirable and how that can influence and even fully adjust attractions, stereotyping all trans women as having penises, stereotyping the function of the penises of trans women who have them, on the other hand

That stuff is all transmisogynist. 

Maybe you should stop doing that stuff and then claiming it’s just because you dislike penis and you won’t be rightfully accused of transmisogyny anymore. :)

When you are hurting, there will always be people who find a way to make it about themselves. If you break your wrist, they’ll complain about a sprained ankle. If you are sad, they’re sadder. If you’re asking for help, they’ll demand more attention.

Here is a fact: I was in a hospital and sobbing into my palms when a woman approached me and asked why I was making so much noise and I managed to stutter that my best friend shot himself in the head and now he was 100% certified dead and she made this little grunt and had the nerve to tell me, “Well now you made me sad.”

When you get angry, there are going to be people who ask you to shut up and sit down, and they’re not going to do it nicely. Theirs are the faces that turn bright red before you have a chance to finish your sentence. They won’t ask you to explain yourself. They’ll be mad that you’re mad and that will be their whole reason alone.

Here is a fact: I was in an alleyway a few weeks ago, stroking my friend’s back as she vomited fourteen tequila shots. “I hate men,” she wheezed as her sides heaved, “I hate all of them.”

I braided her hair so it wouldn’t get caught in the mess. I didn’t correct her and reply that she does in fact love her father and her little brother too, that there are strangers she has yet to meet that will be better for her than any of her shitty ex-boyfriends, that half of our group of friends identifies as male - I could hear each of her bruises in those words and I didn’t ask her to soften the blow when she was trying to buff them out of her skin. She doesn’t hate all men. She never did.

She had the misfortune to be overheard by a drunk guy in an ill-fitting suit, a boy trying to look like a man and leering down my dress as he stormed towards us. “Fuck you, lady,” he said, “Fuck you. Not all men are evil, you know.”

“Thanks,” I told him dryly, pulling on her hand, trying to get her inside again, “See you.”

He followed us. Wouldn’t stop shouting. How dare she get mad. How dare she was hurting. “It’s hard for me too!” he yowled after us. “With fuckers like you, how’s a guy supposed to live?”

Here’s a fact: my father is Cuban and my genes repeat his. Once one of my teachers looked at my heritage and said, “Your skin doesn’t look dirty enough to be a Mexican.”

When my cheeks grew pink and my tongue dried up, someone else in the classroom stood up. “You can’t say that,” he said, “That’s fucking racist. We could report you for that.”

Our teacher turned vicious. “You wanna fail this class? Go ahead. Report me. I was joking. It’s my word against yours. I hate kids like you. You think you’ve got all the power - you don’t. I do.”

Later that kid and I became close friends and we skipped class to do anything else and the two of us were lying on our backs staring up at the sky and as we talked about that moment, he sighed, “I hate white people.” His girlfriend is white and so is his mom. I reached out until my fingers were resting in the warmth of his palm.

He spoke up each time our teacher said something shitty. He failed the class. I stayed silent. I got the A but I wish that I didn’t.

Here is a fact: I think gender is a social construct and people that want to tell others what defines it just haven’t done their homework. I personally happen to have the luck of the draw and am the same gender as my sex, which basically just means society leaves me alone about this one particular thing.

Until I met Alex, who said he hated cis people. My throat closed up. I’m not good at confrontation. I avoided him because I didn’t want to bother him.

One day I was going on a walk and I found him behind our school, bleeding out of the side of his mouth. The only thing I really know is how to patch people up. He winced when the antibacterial cream went across his new wounds. “I hate cis people,” he said weakly.

I looked at him and pushed his hair back from his head. “I understand why you do.”

Here is a fact: anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is how people stop themselves from hurting. Anger is how people stop themselves by empathizing.

It is easy for the drunken man to be mad at my friend. If he says “Hey, fuck you, lady,” he doesn’t have to worry about what’s so wrong about men.

It’s easy for my teacher to fail the kids who speak up. If we’re just smart-ass students, it’s not his fault we fuck up.

It’s easy for me to hate Alex for labeling me as dangerous when I’ve never hurt someone a day in my life. But I’m safe in my skin and his life is at risk just by going to the bathroom. I understand why he says things like that. I finally do.

There’s a difference between the spread of hatred and the frustration of people who are hurting. The thing is, when you are broken, there will always be someone who says “I’m worse, stop talking.” There will always be people who are mad you’re trying to steal the attention. There will always be people who get mad at the same time as you do - they hate being challenged. It changes the rules.

I say I hate all Mondays but my sister was born on one and she’s the greatest joy I have ever known. I say I hate brown but it’s really just the word and how it turns your mouth down - the colour is my hair and my eyes and my favorite sweater. I say I hate pineapple but I still try it again every Easter, just to see if it stings less this year. It’s okay to be sad when you hear someone generalize a group you’re in. But instead of assuming they’re evil and filled with hatred, maybe ask them why they think that way - who knows, you might just end up with a new and kind friend.

By telling the oppressed that their anger is unjustified, you allow the oppression to continue. I know it’s hard to stay calm. I know it’s scary. But you’re coming from the safe place and they aren’t. Just please … Try to be more understanding. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

(via sansaofhousestark)

fauxmosexualtranstrender:

snow-anne:

While this post is a tad long, I hope you will lend me your ear,
because I think it is important that people understand why ‘Social Justice Warriors’, minorities and other Tumblrites can come across as overly angry or sensitive to some. I will give an example of what happens when minorities speak out against those who have power over them, in a non-anonymous, face-to-face setting. While this example is about trans people, it can easily be applied to most other minorities.

Today my brother came over for dinner. He brought up a trans woman who was not ‘passable’ and referred to her as “that man" and "he”. I’m a trans woman myself and couldn’t let him misgender a sister, so I politely corrected him. Instead of apologizing, he justified his mistake with “she looked like a man and didn’t put in enough effort”. I easily picked his words apart, having had these arguments countless times, and then asked whether he would call me a man if I were less conventionally female-looking? He answered negatively, but said the lady in question didn’t make any effort to make her voice sound more feminine. Wanting him to realize how difficult voice retraining is, I asked my brother to give me his best female voice right then and there…

He looked legitimately terrified, kind of the reaction you get when you ask a guy to hold your purse for a second. Then, the anger came. He unleashed a screaming tirade of excuses, red herrings and accusations. Trying to keep this from escalating, I carefully walked towards him with my hands in a calming gesture, hoping to calm him down. He placed his fist against my nose, yelling “one step closer, I dare you”, I froze and braced myself, having been there before. But, I got lucky, he stormed off with an angry “fine, I hate transgenders you’re all men!”.

This is why trans women are ok with you saying ‘tranny’ around them. This is why trans people don’t mind you calling them by their old name and pronouns. This is why the trans people you know personally, aren’t like those ‘crazy’ ones on Tumblr.

When we stand up for ourselves, confront people with the power and privilege they hold over us, bring to light their normally hidden prejudices, things can get ugly real fast. Again, this is not just restricted to trans people, the situation I had today can happen on any oppression axis.

For some, the internet is the only place we can speak freely without having to fear violence. Next time you think people here overreact, think about the hundreds of times they had to stay silent, clench their teeth and hold back their tears of frustration.

[bolding is mine]

(via mrlucidq)

lobst:

Kill the physical-sex-reveal dramatic device, burn its corpse, seal away the ashes, fire them into the sun

(via acidreign)

disheveledwisdom:

oceanicsteam:

The former director of the South Carolina GOP has some thoughts. Putting people you don’t like into camps, hmmmm, where have I heard that before…. Stay classy Republicans.

This is the political ideology that constantly throws out Nazi at people that they disagree with.

Ugh, he also fetishizes bisexual women and used the t-word in more tweets. Uuuuuuugh.

(via acidreign)

projectqueer:

TW: transphobia, transmisogyny, mention of rape, rape culture, sexual assault, death threats

I’ve noticed that there seems to be some confusion about what a TERF* is so, here’s a quick guide to help you figure out if you’re a TERF. Chances are that you’re a TERF if you believe that you’re a feminist when you…

1.) Claim that trans women are cis men, that trans men are cis women and purposefully misgender trans people.

2.) Out trans people to employers.

3.) Tell trans women their surgery is about supporting rape culture.

4.) Assert that lesbian-identified trans women can’t be lesbian.

5.) Claim that a world without trans people is preferable.1

6.) Find that your anti-trans arguments and the anti-trans arguments of far rightwing groups match.2

7.) Assert cis privilege isn’t real; that non-trans people aren’t privileged in a society that’s hostile to trans people.

8.) Claim that gender isn’t real, but the MAAB/FAAB binary is.

9.) Claim that trans surgeries were pioneered by men in service of the patriarchy.3

10.) Lie about rape and death threats you’ve received from trans people.

11.) Fearmonger about the rape/violence threat trans women pose to cis women in the women’s restroom.

12.) Assert that trans people transition to satisfy their sexual urges.

13.) Degrade and dehumanize the genitals of trans people.

14.) Work to overturn trans equality protections.

15.) Work to halt access to trans medical care.

16.) Appeal to the Klan Fallacy.

17.) Compare transition to a disgusting Frankenstein-like process.

18.) Claim that trans people transition due to political or social pressures.4

19.) Claim that when you work to halt the propagation of anti-feminist stereotypes it’s empowerment, but when trans people work to halt the propagation of anti-trans stereotypes it’s censorship .

20.) Assert that trans women transition because they’re actually gay men and that transmen transition because they’re lesbians wanting to escape the patriarchy.

Click the header link above to read the full article.

Using a bisexual label does not automatically stamp you with a TRANSPHOBE label. As much as certain communities would like you to think it should, it’s crap. It just doesn’t make any fucking sense when you break those arguments down—-just like the etymology arguments fail to work based on historical uses of the terms alone. How does that explain this, this, and this? Or the fact Lesbians don’t come aren’t from Lesbos or that not all gay people are happy people? Words evolve and have different meanings to different people. Etymology as an end all be all is just fucking ridiculous.

Whole article thingie

twbasketcase, thank you.

(via anelledisa)

just need to sit down from the beauty of that article jesus christ

(via grimgrinninggirl)

zjemptv:

It was exactly three months ago that Richard Littlejohn published a piece in the Daily Mail viciously attacking Lucy Meadows, a primary school teacher in Britain. Littlejohn targeted Meadows because she’s transgender and had chosen to remain in her job as a teacher after beginning to present as a woman – this was the entire basis for his outrageous, unprovoked assault on her identity, her career, and her very life. It was vile and hateful in all the ways we’ve come to expect from a publication that, like much of the press these days, treats trans women as alternately ridiculous or a threat to society. It was quite literally intolerant of everything that Lucy Meadows was.

So it came as a surprise today that the Daily Mail has completely removed any mention of Meadows from Littlejohn’s column. What happened? Did they suffer a sudden attack of morality, three months later? No. Their decision was based on something much darker than conscience.

Lucy Meadows killed herself this week.

Read more…

Fuck this shit. Fuck this asshole. Fuck everything.

(via vantwinblade)

Arguing in favor of doing away with the idea of bisexuals counts as biphobia, because it invalidates bisexuality as not being a real thing, it disregards the history of bisexuality, it disregards the weight of the word bisexual in society, and blames bisexuality for transphobia even when bisexuality has nothing to do with transphobia.
DeeDee E. writing in The Rainbow Hub (via bisexual-community)

(via alyssabethancourt)

ineedtothinkofatitle:

pro tip: you can make your greatest efforts to avoid racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc etc language and still have fun and still make jokes and still be funny!  true comedy is inoffensive.

(via spacebeastie)

aquietrevolutionary:

absoluteblue:

manicgay:

dear LGBT community i truly believe you should be called LG community and leave the other two fucking irrelevant, lying categories out. bisexual and transgender don’t belong with us. first of all bisexuality does not exist and secondly transgender got nothing to do with homosexuality. Thank you and fuck you!

and just for the record, i’m a hardcore homosexual.

This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Not only is it really fucking wrong, but it’s basically shooting yourself in the foot. We have to work together if we want to make the world a safe place for PEOPLE LIKE US.

image

Bravo OP.

Excellent job of doing EXACTLY THE SAME KIND OF HATEFUL SUPPRESSING THAT THE “HARDCORE STRAIGHT” COMMUNITY TRIES TO DO TO YOU.

Way to partake in precisely the same erasure politics that has KILLED, MURDERED, AND OUTLAWED GAY AND LESBIAN PEOPLE THROUGHOUT ALL OF HISTORY.

And really too, way to enter a safe place for all people, and try to throw your weight around to try and shut down other people’s expression, again, oh, JUST LIKE SOCIETY HAS TRIED TO SHUT DOWN (AND SUCCEEDED IN MANY CASES) GAY AND LESBIAN VOICES. 

Bisexuality absolutely does exist. JUST BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOUR EXPERIENCE DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY LESS REAL.

Transgender absolutely does exist. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE CIS, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS.

YOU ARE NOT RIGHT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY.

And as long as even ONE PERSON IS STILL OPPRESSED, you can be damn sure that the world is still not a safe place to be. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHO IS ALLOWED FREEDOM AND WHO IS NOT. TO DO SO IS TO BE EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD KILL YOU FOR WANTING TO MARRY SOMEONE OF THE SAME GENDER.

Has that sunk in yet?

YOU ARE ARGUING EXACTLY LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD KILL YOU.

Now get that through your head and

image

EXCUSE ME WHILE I SWOON OVER THAT FUCKING EPIC SMACKDOWN. CAN I EVEN ADD TO ITS PERFECTION? LET’S FIND OUT.

FOLLOWERS: REBLOG, DO NOT LIKE.

dear LGBT community i truly believe you should be called LG community and leave the other two fucking irrelevant, lying categories out.

Wow, what a strong start! Truly, I am shaking in my boots.

"Irrelevant"? How precisely is liking the same gender irrelevant to a cause that’s about SUPPORT FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE SAME GENDER?

"Lying"? Wow, that’s fucking fascinating. Tell me, why did you start lying about only liking one gender? Was it to get attention?

bisexual and transgender don’t belong with us.

first of all bisexuality does not exist

What an interesting assertion. Pity that science takes that assertion and dropkicks its balls

and secondly transgender got nothing to do with homosexuality.

Orly? OK, let’s see if we can get this through your head:

Let’s say that you are a straight transwoman who wants to marry a cis man. Under various state laws, you are shit out of luck. Therefore trans* people who want to eventually get married have a vested interest in supporting marriage equality, as well as greater protection for minorities, because whether you like it or not, THEY EXIST AND THEY ARE MINORITIES, TOO.

Trans people get killed every day because they are trans. A lot of times it is due to the false assumption that a transwoman is not a woman, and a transman is not a man, and instead that they are gay people wearing the clothing of the opposite gender in order to “trap” well-meaning straight cis people. Straight cis people are killing trans people because they think that they’re gay.

Yes, gender doesn’t have anything to do with who you fall in love with, but how people treat you, what rights you have? Every queer person is in the same bucket when you pit them versus straight cis folk, and that’s why we need to stick together.

Thank you and fuck you!

Get in line. You might fit somewhere between “Glenn Beck” and “Hitler’s mouldering corpse” in the list of people who I never want to touch my genitals, ever.

and just for the record, i’m a hardcore homosexual.

And this is where I start to think “troll.” Doesn’t matter, smackdowns are fun anyway.

FOLLOWERS: REBLOG, DO NOT LIKE.

chasing-oblivion:

Go and get a piece of paper. Honestly, do it. Call it an experiment. A piece of A4 is fine

Now. What I would like you to do, is fold it evenly in half. Easy yes?

Do it again.
And again. 3rd time.
And again.
And again. Getting difficult?.
And again.
Once more.

Now, try and fold your piece of paper in half just one more time. What? You can’t do it?

I cannot think of a better analogy to draw parallel to the glorious idiocy that is going in lately in regard to sexual orientation and identity online.

I am a staunch supporter of equal marriage, and this year gave my name to a petition sent to the Scottish parliament, to campaign for legislation that would mark our country as a beacon and a standard in equal rights. I believe that if two people truly love one another, then they have a right to declare that love, take vows to one another for it, and it have equal legal powers, regardless of who the two people are. Two men, two women, one of each, whether one, or both partners are transgender- it really doesn’t matter. Marriage should be for everyone.

Everyone should also have the freedom to be open with their sexuality. One day, I sincerely hope all of the stigma attached to LGBT people will vanish, and it become so accepted that no-one (civilised and sane) ever speaks of it.

Having said that, sexuality is unfortunately becoming more complex by the day. So I’m going to give a sort of “Sexual-orientation Orientation for dummies”

There are, in this world, only male and female human beings. Therefore, it is reasonable to suppose that some will be attracted to each others sex (heterosexual), some will be attracted to the same sex as their own (homosexual) and others still find attraction to both groups (bisexual). With that in mind, would you be surprised that there are people who regard themselves as something else entirely? On the Internet I have also encountered the following, given as a “sexual orientation.”

  • Asexuality
  • Pansexuality
  • Demisexuality

I may actually concede Asexuality as a genuine orientation because there are those put there who are to attracted to- or show no signs of it- to any gender. I have a hard time with it, because it almost seems like self-denial and repression of the basic human nature of sexual desire, but I cannot speak for each and every person’s feelings. I’d be skeptical of anyone who “turned” Asexual though, and be questioning whether it was as a result of a poor relationship and broken trust. I do raise my eyebrow at this “Gray-A” business though, “I’m asexual up to a point” basically. Come off it.

Pansexuality is something I never used to understand too much. My own fiancée identifies as Pan, but to me, because of it’s sentiment that “you have the potential to be attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender” it just seems to me like pan are “bisexual with bells on”, or “very bisexual indeed”. If there only are two sexes, and people choose to live as one or the other, there are only 3 choices really, straight, gay or bi. I suppose it’s to cover the transsexual part of humanity, and to that extend I suppose I can understand that too. It’s one of those “shouldn’t matter but it does” moments, because I’m sure there are men dating and probably married to, people that began their lives on this earth as men. But as they are now living as female, are their partners gay or bi? Not necessarily seems to be the answer, as they may still regard themselves as straight. 

Demisexuality? This is where my line is. Demisexual people identify as only being attracted to people sexually “some of the time.” *cough* Every woman on the face of the earth then? Joking aside, it is specifically highlighted as having sexual attraction only after an emotional connection has been made. To me, that’s just a fancy way of saying you don’t like the idea of one night stands and you want sex you have to be special in an emotional way. There’s nothing wrong with that, or wanting to share sexual experiences only with someone you care about, but it really doesn’t need a label. Seems to serve as a method to draw attention and special treatment for making this choice too. A bout of Special Snowflake Syndrome seems to be at work:

“I identify with it, therefore it is real and if you disagree then you are wrong”

Well, it’s not a sexual orientation, hate to break it to you. It is your mechanism on how you deal with the relationships that you choose to be in, not which partners you choose. 

Demisexuality is a fancy sounding word that doesn’t mean a hell of a lot, and it is convoluted and unnecessary as that piece of paper in front of you. An awkward fact, but true. It is impossible to fold a piece of paper evenly more than seven times, as we have discovered, and fruitless, as you probably can’t use it for anything. The fact that the “wiggly red line” of internet spellcheck rests under it sets alarm bells ringing early. So let’s dispense with what’s unnecessary, and start making sense. 

As well as the three I’ve listed here, there are many other monikers and extensions of romanticism that people have started to make use of, again, many of them don’t amount to very much, and are a product of an attention seeking mentality in my eyes. In an attempt to define every aspect of themselves and their personal feelings- and put it on display- people are creating labels by which they would resent being judged. If it makes you happy, then I don’t have an overwhelming problem with it, as it does me no direct harm. In the end though, reader, you have to ask yourself what I’ve been asking all along during the background-reading before this post.

What’s the point?

Followers, please reblog this, do not like.

OK, you’ve got some serious issues with your logic.

There are, in this world, only male and female human beings.

Nope. Even if we look at it solely from a genitals perspective (that means ignoring gender entirely), intersex people exist. Furthermore, not all intersex people have the same parts as other intersex people, so it doesn’t make any sense to say that there are just “male and female” when you can be male without having a penis as we think of one or female as we think of one.

If there only are two sexes, and people choose to live as one or the other, there are only 3 choices really, straight, gay or bi.

Except there aren’t only two sexes, so that point is invalid.

I suppose it’s to cover the transsexual part of humanity, and to that extend I suppose I can understand that too. It’s one of those “shouldn’t matter but it does” moments, because I’m sure there are men dating and probably married to, people that began their lives on this earth as men. But as they are now living as female, are their partners gay or bi? Not necessarily seems to be the answer, as they may still regard themselves as straight. 

Yes, men who are attracted to women are straight. However, trans* people are more than just male or female. There are male and female trans* people, but there are also trans people who are bigender or agender or a third gender. Hence why pansexuality is a legitimate orientation.

I may actually concede Asexuality as a genuine orientation because there are those put there who are to attracted to- or show no signs of it- to any gender. I have a hard time with it, because it almost seems like self-denial and repression of the basic human nature of sexual desire, but I cannot speak for each and every person’s feelings. I’d be skeptical of anyone who “turned” Asexual though, and be questioning whether it was as a result of a poor relationship and broken trust. I do raise my eyebrow at this “Gray-A” business though, “I’m asexual up to a point” basically. Come off it.

Celibacy is a choice - you are choosing not to have sex for whatever reason. Asexuality is not a choice. Asexual people can also, in some cases, have sexual desire, but have no interest in having sex with someone else. They just masturbate. Novel concept, I know.

To me, that’s just a fancy way of saying you don’t like the idea of one night stands and you want sex you have to be special in an emotional way.

What part of “not a choice” do you not get?

The fact that the “wiggly red line” of internet spellcheck rests under it sets alarm bells ringing early.

Things that my internet spellcheck doesn’t think are words:

  • transphobia
  • wuthering
  • colour
Things it does think are words:
  • misandry
Existence as a word does not make a point automatically more valid.

In the end though, reader, you have to ask yourself what I’ve been asking all along during the background-reading before this post.

What’s the point?

We’re humans. We like having words to describe things. We could just call every tree “tree,” but we have taxonomical classifications for a reason. There’s no reason to not have a word just because what it describes is common.

For someone who says “I can’t speak for each and every person’s feelings,” you’re doing a hell of a job speaking for other people and passing judgement despite not knowing what their feelings are, especially considering the fact that you apparently did research and yet said blatantly false things.

Followers, please reblog this, do not like.

finalowen:

Here’s a quick guide on the many ways you can do it.

  1. Go to any number of bisexual websites that give helpful definitions and FAQs on bisexuality.
  2. Look on the internet to see what bisexual people have written about how they define their sexuality. It’s quite easy to do.
  3. Politely ask a bisexual person (if they’re agreeable to being asked) about their definitions of what the term means.
  4. Do some research into the historical context of the phrase and how it originated.
  5. Do all of the above.

Here’s a quick guide on the way NOT to do it.

  1. Look at the “bi”, assume the ‘two’ is referring to a male/female binary, and decide it means that bisexual people can only be attracted to two genders.
  2. Act like an authority from your few seconds worth of half-caring about what it might mean, and paint bisexual people as transphobic based on this conclusion.

Sadly, it seems like that latter is becoming more and more common, and people don’t seem to realise how biphobic it is.

mindmanacles:

Actually, in order to be female you DO have to possess a vagina. 

Actually, in order to be female you just have to identify as female. Thanks for playing, do come again soon.

(via oxidizedwater-deactivated201304)