there are some fandoms where I ship everyone with everyone and it doesn’t matter who is with whom because it works for everything
and then there are fandoms where there is only one ship and everything else is heresy
It’s like the cat that you kind of put up with, but it’s always doing shit like getting fur all over your favourite chair or scratching your arm while you’re petting it. And you hate it so much, and just fuck you. And then it gets sick and you’re just sitting at the vet’s office crying because you’ve somehow grown fond of the little fucknut.
That’s how I think Hermann feels about Newt.
I’m just laughing really hard because destiel haters are hilarious.
AS ARE WINCEST HATERS.
I just legitimately do not understand why someone would hate a pairing of a fictional character.
If it’s not your thing, go read things that ARE your thing. What does something that contradicts your thing (although, I’m also fan of OT3’s so nothing ever contradicts my pairings) have to be seen as like a personal insult?
It’s shipping, man.
It’s fun. Not something to be taken so seriously that online wars break out.
Plato: “Patroklos totally topped, not Achilles. Aeschylus is such an idiot!”
I wish I was kidding:
“Very different was the reward of the true love of Achilles towards his lover Patroclus-his lover and not his love (the notion that Patroclus was the beloved one is a foolish error into which Aeschylus has fallen, for Achilles was surely the fairer of the two, fairer also than all the other heroes; and, as Homer informs us, he was still beardless, and younger far).”
-Plato (well, Apollodorus), Symposium (Benjamin Jowett translation)
Can you imagine the shipping wars in ancient Greece?
“Lo! Hades’ love for Persephone transcends all, as does her love for him. That they were brought together by ignoble circumstances makes it all the sweeter.”
“Fool! Theirs is just a farce, a marriage founded on impulse and captivity. Zeus/Hades is where it’s at.”
“Lo, their hatesex doth shake the mountain! IN THY PANTS!”
"How canst thou ship Odysseus with Nausicaa when thou knowest his true love is his Penelope? He is many years her senior!"
"Look upon the subtext in these words! Clearly he finds her pleasing to his eyes!"
Do you ever realize you want to ship your own characters and then you realize:
‘Wait… this isn’t a ship… If I’m the writer… so this is canon! I’m a god! I AM THE MASTER OF THE SEA! I WILL DECIDE IF YOUR SHIPS MAY SAIL AND MAKE IT TO THE GLORIOUS ENDGAME PORT AND YOU MAY ONLY PRAY FOR I WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!’