I’ve had enough of headcanons that connect him to other...
I don’t believe in telling unhappy single people to be happy. It’s dismissive.
I’ve read so many articles that say all of this crap like “This is the time of self-discovery!” as if a healthy relationship inhibits personal growth. Or “You need to learn to be alone before you can have a partner” like every single person’s problem is not that they want a partner but that they hate being alone.
Some people just don’t like being single. It doesn’t make them desperate or broken. It’s simply that some people prefer having romantic companionship and see their lives as being in part fulfilled by that. Just like some people dream of having children or dream of having a specific career.
I think you’ve got two ways you could go about this. They are the Bubble Way and the Balloon Way.
The first way, you just avoid. Pop all the bubbles.
"Hey, you wanna talk right now?" "Sorry, I’m busy."
"Want to hang out?" "Sorry, I can’t."
"I really like you!" "Thank you, but I’m not interested."
The key here is to be short and direct. You are popping individual bubbles with the hope that eventually she will lose interest.
Alternatively, you pop the balloon. You tell her, in the medium that you prefer, that you do not reciprocate her interest, and you would appreciate it if she didn’t bring it up again, because it’s kind of awkward.
With some people, being clear and obvious isn’t enough, and you might have to be a bit of an asshole if that’s what it takes to get them to leave you alone. I’d use that as a last resort, with “ignore her on everything, don’t talk to her in any way” as a second-to-last resort. Hopefully she’ll get over it once she realizes that you’re holding firm on this.
I’d also let go of excuses: you’re not interested. That’s it. “Taken” or “too old for you” gives her a way in, because what happens when you’re not taken or once she’s not seventeen? It gives her something to hope for. “Not interested” is clear and direct.
Romantic love, as we understand it, is a colonial construct. It is an all-consuming, possessive, lifelong, monogamous endeavor that works to sustain capitalism and white supremacist heteropatriarchy via the nuclear family. We are told that this romantic love is essential, shaping it as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Were we to sustain ourselves on self-love, platonic love, and love of community, what could change?
We could see the beauty of our interdependence, rather than individuals competing for higher wages and standards of living at the expense of each other. The formation of families, rather than communities, creates hierarchies of which people are worthy and deserving of our attention, protection and devotion. With a restructuring of romantic love as comparable to community/platonic/self-love, we begin to prioritize the care and livelihood of entire larger groups of people as equally important as our romantic partner/s.
I dunno call your local police department and see what they think of it
As long as they aren’t a person of authority, in Colorado you’d be okay anon.
I highly recommend you all know the consent laws in your states.
Just because it is technically legal does not make it ok, or right.
Consent laws are legalized sexual abuse. Sixteen year old children are NOT capable of properly consenting and carrying out a relationship with an adult.
Pretty much dude ~ Stop acting that ‘age is just a number’ especially when you’re going through puberty, a 13 year old and a 16 year, age wise only three years apart, but mentally and emotionally? Vastly different, same with a 16 year old and a 21 year old
Really Ten? A 5 year difference? And all this ageist crap?
I mean, yeah, I was fully on board with you with the whole teenager/40 year old dude creepy stuff. I was 18 when I started seeing my datemate when they were 15, and we’ve been together for years now. Calling that sexual abuse is pretty fucked up in my opinion, js. Especially when I’ve actually been a victim of sexual abuse in my life.
ya’ll can leave. I don’t care. 16 year old should not be dating a 21 year old, I don’t give a fuck. Ya’ll can leave.
I don’t care about other people’s experience w sexual abuse or ageism haha watch me post this funni gif
ten confirmed for shitty person haha lolk nah im out
If you honestly think that, then yes, please. fucking. leave. Cause you ain’t paying attention.
an 18 year old in high school being with a 15 year old who’s also in high school is VERY different from a 21 year old being with a 16 year old!! age differences matter more the younger the people in them are. for example, would you think a 13 year old dating an 11 year old is appropriate?? of course not, because they’re in completely different stages of development. that’s only a 2 year difference but because kids are still developing very quickly from age 5-14, the power differential between them is concerning. a 13 year old is so much more developed than an 11 year old that it’s highly likely for the 13 year old to abuse their younger partner.
the same is true of a 21 year old being with a 16 year old, AND an 18 year old being with a 15 year old. but the 21/16 relationship is of far more concern because how the fuck does a 21 year old even MEET a 16 year old?? at least the 18/15 couple probably met in school or through friends, but a 21 year old has to actively seek out a relationship with a 16 year old: WHICH SHOULD BE OF CONCERN TO EVERYONE EVER. a 21 year old being with a 16 year old isn’t that bad by itself, but once you realize that with the fact that there’s almost no way for a 21 year old and a 16 year old to meet in a non-creepy way it’s pretty clear that it’s fucked up and inappropriate.
I’m twenty, and my little brother is fifteen. In a few months we’ll be twenty-one and sixteen.
I’m almost old enough to drink. I’m going to be in my final year of college. My brother, on the other hand, is only just going into his sophomore year of high school. He hasn’t even taken his PSATs yet. There is such a massive world of difference between me and him, and even though we get along fine, there is no way I can see myself dating someone his age.
Going strictly by the years of age difference, it’s not a big deal. But given the vast differences in where we are as people, I cannot imagine anyone my age dating anyone his age. I do agree with nuanced age of consent laws (the line needs to be drawn somewhere), but seriously: if a 21-year-old and a 16-year-old want to be in a relationship, which can’t the 21-year-old (the actual adult) wait for the 16-year-old to be in a better place developmentally? Why can’t the adult behave responsibly? Why is it so necessary to preserve this relationship when they could wait until they’re at the more reasonable ages of, say, 18 and 23? Or 20 and 25?
Any time someone brings up “closure,” I think of this comic from SMBC.
friends turned lovers is literally my favorite trope - like, all other tropes can go home.
give me shared inside jokes that date back to wayyyyy before a first kiss was ever shared. give me living together with separate bedrooms until one of them gradually becomes unnecessary. give me confused reactions from people who already assumed the two of them were dating. give me arguments over what counts as an anniversary because should we start at the date we met or the date we became friends or the date we got over our stupid selves and finally started kissing?
give me stories that show the line between friends and lovers is a really, really thin one - that appreciating the friendship that two characters share doesn’t mean you can’t ship them really damn hard too. that you can keep all the awesome friends-being-assholes-to-each-other stuff and add on all the shippy stuff to get something extra special awesome.
give me all of that.
my boyfriend keeps making these ridiculous faces while we’re skyping
how did I fall in love with such an absolute dork
SIR I MUST ASK YOU TO CEASE YOUR DAMN CUTENESS
YOU ARE A MENACE TO SOCIETY
YOU NEED TO STOP WITH YOUR FACE