"And how should I presume?"

The unsophisticated ramblings of an unenlightened twenty-something who hopes to, one day, change the world.

Cast of characters:

The Anna to my Elsa (and tag)
The Michael to my Wendy Darling (and tag)
The Wash to my Zoe (and tag)
The John to my Sherlock
The Keladry to my Alanna
The Mal to my Zoe

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Posts tagged "monosexism"

I don’t think the comment “bisexuals have straight privilege unless they’re in lesbian relationships” makes any more sense than saying “lesbians have straight privilege while they’re single”. This makes the assumption that all bisexuals who are single or in opposite-sex relationships actively hide their sexual orientation.

If a gay woman keeps her sexual identity secret while she’s single in order to avoid discrimination, we don’t accuse her of co-opting straight privilege – we sympathize with her for feeling the need to closet herself. So why the double standard for bisexuals?

It might not apply to you, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t straight-looking femme lesbians, or androgynous-looking, rainbow-wearing, alternative-haircut-having bisexuals. My point is that that comment oversimplifies and overgeneralizes things in a way that seems unreasonable to me.

Chandra on Autostraddle (via my-drop-is-full-of-tree-branches)

"This makes the assumption that all bisexuals who are single or in opposite-sex relationships actively hide their sexual orientation."

It also makes the assumption that closeted people aren’t on the receiving end of oppression, in direct contradiction to empirical data that have shown larger rates of stress in the closeted population. I mean, really? Straight people don’t have to hide in the closet, how the fuck is being closeted straight privilege? This kind of argument is just a way of rationalizing monosexism. 

(via angrybisexual)


(via coffeebuddha)

(via coffeebuddha)

The idea that Biphobia doesn’t exist is rooted in the idea that Bisexuality is just half Heterosexuality and half Homosexuality, so the only part of Bisexuals that experience oppression is their "Homosexual half". Therefore, it is rooted in the idea that Bisexuality doesn’t exist.



More about these posters and the campaign (including detailed discussion of challenges faced by many non-monosexual Canadians), and a list of research studies here.

(via stevesrogeres)




"she can’t be bisexual! she’s in a relationship with a man!"


Perfect use of that gif. Thank you.

#My name is Inigo Montoya you erased my sexuality prepare to die

Witchy those tags are perf omg




bisexual invisibility isn’t new. you see, we’ve always had the power.

every unsolved high stakes art robbery? bisexuals.
crop circles? bisexuals with mowers.
poltergeists? nope just rowdy bisexuals
Roanoke colony? bisexuals probably.

ALERT ALERT! We’ve been made! Hide the booty!

we’ll be fine they’ll never find us in our invisible lair



imageMark Simpson has written a great essay on why male bisexuality is taboo, while female bisexuality is considered erotic.  

Here is an excerpt:

"Straight women now have something to gain and little to lose by admitting an interest in other women. Rather than exile them to the acrylic mines of Planet Lesbo, it makes them more interesting, more adven­tur­ous, more mod­ern… just more.

"For the most part, however, straight men still have nothing to gain and everything to lose by making a similar admission. It renders them considerably… less. Unlike women, men’s gender is immediately suspect if they express an interest in the same sex. What’s more, any male homosexuality still tends to be seen as an expression of impotence with women. In other words: men’s attraction to men is equivalent to and probably a product of emasculation.

"A straight man admitting that he finds masculinity desirable – as so many clearly, thrillingly do – threatens to cost him the very thing he values most: not only his own manhood and his potency, his reputation with the ladies, but his lads-together homoso­cial intimacy with other men. It’s a nasty, vicious, bitchy trick to play on millions of red-blooded men, but this is what passes for common sense in the modern, Anglo-Saxon world."

Read the whole article here!

In other words: This is an area where the sexism of society punishes men harder much than women.

We see the same in the transgender arena: People are in general are more tolerant of women expressing male interests and expressions than of men embracing traditional feminine interests, clothing or sexual preferences.

okay “this is an area where the sexism of society punishes men much harder than women” is one of the most fucked up things i’ve seen in a while, and i just rewatched arielle’s bisexual vs. pansexual video for an ask, so that’s saying something.

the fetishization of bisexual women does not in any way help women out. okay, yeah, maybe in theory people think of bisexuality in women as “modern” or whatever, but in practice? it’s fucking open season on bi women because our very identity is seen as consent, a green light for whatever horny straight men want. nearly fifty percent of bi women are rape survivors—that would include me btw—and i would be a whole lot fucking happier if my bisexuality meant that straight men wouldn’t date me, as opposed to making them think it’s perfectly fine to violate me.

i’m all for talking about how the heteronormative ideals negatively affect bi men, btw, because i get that they totally do. but i am not okay with anyone, especially men, saying that people finding women’s bisexuality “erotic” is in any way positive for women because it is so fucking not. and i am REALLY not fucking okay with an article like this, which is basically celebrating the fucking sexualization and victimization of bi women, being posted in the bi tags without so much as a trigger warning.

repeat after me, people: fetishization is not acceptance.

Bisexuals don’t go around asking straight people if they’re “confused” or going through a “phase.” Indeed, heterosexuality is presumed until explicitly stated otherwise. Coming out as gay (for the most part) is not met with a chorus of “nuh uh!” Most people’s sexual orientations and identities are taken at the word of their beholders. But this isn’t the case for bisexuality. Why? Why do we think all bi men are “closet-cases” and bi women are “lesbians until graduation”? Part of is has to do with stereotypes, of course, but it’s a curious conundrum nonetheless, especially when you consider that more Americans believe in angels and Santa Claus than bisexuals.
Why is it considered a legitimate research question to ask if we exist? Because bisexuals are framed as liars, by both the straight and the lesbian/gay communities. Because it’s a way to other and exoticise us.

Because there is a long tradition of not taking any marginalized group’s experiences seriously until their lived experience was "verified" by someone in the majority.
Patrick RichardsFink, bisexual activist, researcher and blogger in comment to the Huffington Post 26 March 2014 (via fliponymous)

(via bisexual-community)




I saw this poster at a queer bar in Paris and it made me really happy. (Sorry for the shitty quality, it hangs high up on the wall and the lighting there is not the best). Basically, the person in the front (not sure who it is) says “Bisexuals don’t exist” and Batman is like,  ”Shut your mouth” and slaps them. So yeah, this made me really happy, I thought I’d share.

OMG how awesome that a queer bar would have this!

(via goshdarnbisexuals)


The statistics on the poor health of bisexuals are astounding.  Its counter intuitive because we tend to see bisexuals as diluted versions of gay people.

We see bisexuals as diluted versions of gay people, so not only do we not think that their problems would be as bad, but that very thought process is what causes bisexuals to experience problems in greater numbers than gay people in the first place.

(via bisexual-community)

For many gay men and lesbians, the word bisexual is the second most anxious-making word in the dictionary (just after bi-curious).


when, instead of supposedly getting the best of both worlds, you get unfair prejudice in both of them.

(via werelemur)


as many as 45% of bisexual women consider suicide and people are still going to act like bi erasure and biphobic comments aren’t just another form of violence

(via theangrybisexual)









this fills me with both intense joy at learning a cool new thing and intense anger at not having learned cool new thing before

(via sammyboy42)