"And how should I presume?"

Just one awkward twenty-something who hopes to, one day, change the world.

Cast of characters:

The Anna to my Elsa (and tag)
The Michael to my Wendy Darling (and tag)
The Wash to my Zoe (and tag)
The John to my Sherlock
The Keladry to my Alanna
The Mal to my Zoe

This Journal Is QUILTBAG Positive

This Journal Is Sex Work Positive

This Journal Is Body Positive

This Journal Is Positive

Posts I Like
Folks I Follow
Posts tagged "heterosexism"
I wouldn’t necessarily mind people not knowing I’m gay, but I don’t like being thought of as straight — in the same way that I don’t mind people not knowing I’m a writer, but it would be awkward if they assumed I was an extreme skateboarder, because that’s so far removed from the reality of my life. But there is no blank slate where orientation is concerned; we are straight until proven otherwise. And if you’ve never seen how dramatically a conversation can be derailed by a casual admission of homosexuality, let me tell you, it gets awkward.



6x20 | 9x20

       ↳ I was there. Where were you? 

are you fucking kidding me?

excuse me but what the fuck is this fucking fuckery

(via lithrostilesmclinski)

Any story dealing, however seriously, with homosexual love is taken to be a story about homosexuality while stories dealing with heterosexual love are seen as stories about the individual people they portray. This is as much a problem today for American filmmakers who cannot conceive of the presence of gay characters in a film unless the specific subject of the film is homosexuality. Lesbians and gay men are thereby classified as purely sexual creatures, people defined solely by their sexual urges.

Vito Russo, The Celluloid Closet: Homosexuality in the Movies (Chapter 4)

The sad thing, folks, is that this book was written in 1981 and revised in the 1990s, and over thirty years later this hasn’t really changed.

(via kellerprocess)

(via ilikechampagne)

I’d make the character left-handed if it served the story

No writer, showrunner or producer ever (via hatteress)

I think the worst, most damaging part about this is the fact that after awhile you start to think it, too.

"Oh, right, yea I suppose it would be weird to have them be queer now

"where would that fall in the canon at this point”

And it’s not until this kind of comparison is made that you really start to see the stupidity of it. It’s appalling, and especially so when you look at movies and shows with queer characters and see them automatically lumped beneath the label “gay and lesbian films” as though any media with more than a single queer character must be about queer characters. 

My sexuality isn’t a genre, I don’t introduce myself to people as queer, it’s just a facet of my identity but it’s not the defining feature. 

As though you can’t have a character be queer unless you’ve established their queerness from day one, like sexuality isn’t something that is messy and ever evolving. 

Because, it would be unrealistic to suddenly have this character come to terms with their sexuality, embrace it, or leap into it like it’s not a big deal. Because it would be unrealistic, we’re too busy with the plot of werewolves and kanimas, of angels and demons. 

It would be unrealistic

No. At least own up to it. Own up to the fact that you don’t want to make your characters queer because it would be too complicated. It would be too difficult for you to write it because you’re too far up your own heteronormative sexist ass that you couldn’t even begin to crawl your way out. 

Own up to the fact that you don’t know how to write it, and that most of all you aren’t willing. 

You aren’t willing to look your audience in the face and say, “we need you for the ratings, but we don’t value you enough to validate your worth.”

Because that’s what it boils down to.

And I for one, am done. 

(via captain-snark)

(via gettin-spoopy-up-in-here)

It should not be easier to find a zombie apocalypse than it is to find a lesbian protagonist in the aisles of your local bookstore. Falling for werewolves and shape shifters should not be more accepted than a transgender love affair; marginalized people really will still exist in the future; more folks should know that, and more so create like they know it. Someone then must step into the gap, or to be more accurate the gaping holes in the collective visions of our possibilities as human beings. In these pages, someone has.
Heteronormativity includes the multiple, often mundane ways through which heterosexuality overwhelmingly structures and “pervasively and insidiously” orders “everyday existence” (Jackson; Kitzinger). Heteronormativity structures social life so that heterosexuality is always assumed, expected, ordinary, and privileged. It’s pervasiveness makes it difficult for people to imagine other ways of life

Martin and Kazyak - “Hetero-Romantic Love and Heterosexiness in Children’s G-Rated Films” (via socialjusticetoddler)

Let’s talk about heteronormativity in sex education for a second. Because many sex education classes practice heteronormativity they don’t take the time to address sexual and relationship issues that specifically impact QUILTBAG+ individuals (cisnormativity is also a big part of this).

This means that we have a whole bunch of people growing up thinking lesbians can’t get STIs. That’s a huge myth I’ve encountered a lot and even seen portrayed in the media. We aren’t taught about dental dams because they are usually used by two DFAB partners, even though they should be used with any couple type. We aren’t taught about internal condoms being used with anal sex because this is mostly seen in the queer community. We aren’t taught about the social impact of HIV stigma in queer communities. We aren’t taught about the resources available for same gender couples that involve abuse. We aren’t taught that some of the resources available to straight couples aren’t open or accepting of other couples. We aren’t taught that these feelings of attraction (or lack of attraction) are normal. A lot of oppression and bigotry is created because of lack of education. If we were educating about QUILTBAG+ people within sex education there would be less misinformation and stigma. If we taught about intersex development there would be not only less stigma towards them but it would also be a great segue into how sex isn’t a binary and gender isn’t a binary as well as other sexual conditions that get left out. 

I’m sure there are even more issues I’m leaving out, but the point is we should be making sex education classes, hell all classes with both heteronormativity, cisnormativity, and dyadicnormativity (erasure of intersex individuals) in mind.

(via grimgrinninggirl)

(via grimgrinninggirl)


The American Medical Association has joined the ranks of organizations urging the FDA to change its policy prohibiting men who have sex with men from donating blood. 

The FDA’s policy went into effect in 1983 as a response to the AIDS crisis, but medical technology has changed since then and advanced HIV testing on all blood donations makes the ban unnecessary. Still, it remains.

“The lifetime ban on blood donation for men who have sex with men is discriminatory and not based on sound science,” AMA board member William Kobler said in a statement. “This new policy urges a federal policy change to ensure blood donation bans or deferrals are applied to donors according to their individual level of risk and are not based on sexual orientation alone.”

The AMA’s stance on amending the lifetime ban on gay men donating blood in the U.S. falls in line with recent policy changes in other countries. Earlier this year Canadian Blood Services approved a change in policy that would allow gay men to donate blood if they have abstained from having sex with another man for five years prior to their donation. Additionally, other countries such as Australia and the U.K., require only a one-year window of deferral for sexually active gay men, while South Africa requires only a six-month period.

The FDA isn’t fooling anyone. It needs to reverse this policy — or, at the very least, admit that it’s rooted in prejudice. 

(via reagan-was-a-horrible-president)


(via Sofia Pride cancelled due to fears of anti-gay attacks | Gay Star News)

Pride has been canceled in Sofia capital of Bulgaria, due to fears that anti-gay extremists may attack the participants. Organizers of Sofia Pride that was scheduled for tomorrow (22 June) say the event has been canceled due to the insistence of city’s municipality and the Interior Ministry.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/sofia-pride-cancelled-due-fears-anti-gay-attacks210613#sthash.094HRYdW.dpuf

(via projectqueer)


As a book, I love Ender’s Game to tiny pieces. It’s the anthem for the smart young outsider, and it’s a hell of an adventure story. I love it and I’m ashamed of how much I love it because it’s written by this man:

Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage.” —Orson Scott Card

Orson Scott Card sits on the board of the National Organization for Marriage, attempting to ensure the second-class treatment of queer people and (impotently, but still) threatening to destroy the government over matters of simple equality. He is a frothing, virulent bigot.

Don’t pay to see his movie. Don’t let a cent of your money go to him or encourage the studio to make more films which make him more money to give to people who think pro-equality governments are their mortal enemy.

Co-signing this. OSC is also the unbearable shitbiscuit who described heterosexual relationships as "suppression of natural desires, and an unending effort to learn how to get through the intersexual swamp" and wrote the worst Hamlet AU ever, wherein Horatio, Laertes, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern are all gay-by-molestation and ends with Hamlet being dragged to Hell by his father’s ghost, where he’ll get molested for all eternity. Why are all of them gay-by-molestation? Maybe it has something to do with what he thinks homosexuality is:

"There is a myth that homosexuals are ‘born that way,’ and we are pounded with this idea so thoroughly that many people think that somebody, somewhere, must have proved it […] The dark secret of homosexual society—the one that dares not speak its name—is how many homosexuals first entered into that world through a disturbing seduction or rape or molestation or abuse, and how many of them yearn to get out of the homosexual community and live normally."


There is evidence that the so-called ex-gay industry is becoming less viable by the day, says Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out.



Author James E. Phelan offers a comprehensive list of 236 activities clients can participate in whenever they feel homosexual urges. Crying or smelling a flower are suggested. This has been a particularly bad couple of weeks for the “ex-gay” industry.

First, it was reported that the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality’s tax-exempt status was revoked last September. This group is a notorious antigay propaganda mill that portrays LGBT people as mentally ill and tries to “cure” them of their homosexuality. The IRS revocation was the result of NARTH not filing Form 990 for three consecutive years. This could have been due to administrative incompetence. Or the group’s revenues may have decreased sharply, and officials chose to not file to avoid public scrutiny of their financial failures. In NARTH’s last 990 filing, in 2008, the group reported a loss of $29,692 on total revenue of $137,143.

In any case, this is a victory because NARTH will no longer be collecting tax-deductible donations. It strips the group of its already shredded credibility and eliminates its thin veneer of professionalism. Not surprisingly, on its website the antigay organization continues to portray donations as “tax-deducible,” deliberately misleading the public and even its own contributors.

Second, the “ex-gay” industry took a hit in New Jersey this week, when the state Senate’s Health, Human Services, and Senior Citizens Committee voted 7-1 with two abstentions, to advance a bill that would prohibit licensed therapists from trying to “cure” gay minors. The Garden State bill was similar to California’s SB1172, which was signed into law last year by Gov. Jerry Brown but is currently being contested in court. Clearly, NARTH is on the ropes and in deep trouble For years, the organization published books and worked closely with religious organizations, such as Exodus International and Focus on the Family, to promote the message that gay people did not exist and were simply “heterosexuals with a homosexual problem.”

Another function of the organization was to promote junk science and distort valid biological and psychological research on homosexuality. This has caused leading researchers, such as University of Utah’s Lisa Diamond and UCLA’s Allan Schore, to accuse NARTH of twisting and politicizing their research. NARTH’s deterioration began in 2006 after Gerald Schoenwolf, a member of its Scientific Advisory Committee, wrote a polemic on the group’s website that seemed to excuse slavery:

“With all due respect, there is another way, or other ways, to look at the race issue in America,” wrote Schoenwolf. “It could be pointed out, for example, that Africa at the time of slavery was still primarily a jungle, as yet uncivilized or industrialized. Life there was savage, as savage as the jungle … those brought to Europe, South America, America, and other countries, were in many ways better off than they had been in Africa.”

In 2010, NARTH became a laughingstock when its most prominent Scientific Advisory Committee member, George Rekers, was caught vacationing with a male escort he met on RentBoy.com. That same year, it was revealed that another NARTH board member, Arthur Abba Goldberg, had once served time in prison for bilking poor communities with complicated bond schemes. It is not the tawdry scandals, however, but the actual substance of NARTH’s work that is responsible for the organization losing support. The group is a fount of bizarre theories and outlandish practices that can even make social conservatives cringe. For example, Scientific Advisory Committee member Gerard van den Aardweg believes that self-pity causes homosexuality. In his book Hope and Homosexuality, he claims the cure for being gay is “humor therapy,” in which clients are told to mock their inner child:

Click the header link to read the full article.




Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.


look at the netherlands being sassy 

“u think u can ban homosexuality putin”

“did u really think u could get away with that”


fuck yeeeeeeeah

(via thatchickwiththebook)


Editor’s note: John D. Sutter is a human rights and social change columnist for CNN Opinion. E-mail him at CTL@CNN.com or follow him on Twitter (@jdsutter), Facebook or Google+. This column contains language that may offend some readers.

Franklin County, Mississippi (CNN) — Statistically speaking, Franklin County should be straighter than John Wayne eating Chick-fil-A. The middle-of-nowhere rectangle in southwest Mississippi — known for its pine forests, hog hunting and an infamous hate crime — is home to exactly zero same-sex couples, according to an analysis of census data.

In other words: It’s a place where gays don’t exist.

At least not on paper.

Before I visited Franklin County, I figured there must be gay people living in Straight County USA. But I didn’t expect anyone to be open about it — and with good reason. As part of this op-ed project, I recently ranked the Hospitality State as one of the least hospitable for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, based on its lack of legal protections. In addition to allowing gays and lesbians to be fired because of who they are, Mississippi is also gracious enough to let landlords evict gay residents.

Those are great incentives for a gay person to become invisible. And being invisible, of course, could mean avoiding census workers.

I drove to this place of rolling hills and misty valleys with a few questions on my mind: Can there really be such a thing as an all-straight county? If so, what is it like to be someone who never has met a gay person? Do you just watch “Glee” and figure it out?

If there are gay people in Franklin County, what keeps them hidden?

I spent a few days searching for answers before I realized I was making the wrong assumptions: It’s not that gay people here (or anywhere really) want to be in the closet, necessarily. It’s the rest of the world that pushes them in and shuts the door.

Read More

(via truth-has-a-liberal-bias)




Yeah most black metal dudes are racist where have you been

Case and point.

Hold on…it’s taken you this long to realise how much of a moron he is?

Maybe the rock they live under only just now got WiFi.


The Westboro Baptist Church is about to get a big surprise in the form of a new neighbor who plans to give the notoriously anti-gay group a taste of its own medicine.

Aaron Jackson, one of the founders of Planting Peace, a multi-pronged charity that has in the past concentrated on rainforest conservation, opening orphanages and deworming programs, bought a house that sits directly across from the church’s compound six months ago. On Tuesday, March 19, he and a team of volunteers are painting it to match the gay pride flag.

The project — which the nonprofit is calling the “Equality House” — is the first in a new campaign Planting Peace plans to wage against the group. Westboro is known for its intimidating tactics of protesting (or threatening to protest) what they refer to as America’s pro-gay, anti-God agenda, in close proximity to pride parades, soldier funerals and other events like the Sandy Hook memorial services.”

“I didn’t know anything about the church or where they were located, but that story kept popping up. And one night I wondered, Where is this church? I got on Google Earth, and I was ‘walking down the road,’ and I did a 360 view. And I saw a ‘For Sale’ sign sitting in the front yard of a house. Right away it hit me, Oh my gosh, I could buy a house in front of the WBC! And immediately I thought: And I’m going to paint that thing the color of the pride flag.

Read the whole article!


(via wearebornforwonder)