"And how should I presume?"

Just one awkward twenty-something who hopes to, one day, change the world.

Cast of characters:

The Anna to my Elsa (and tag)
The Michael to my Wendy Darling (and tag)
The Wash to my Zoe (and tag)
The John to my Sherlock
The Keladry to my Alanna
The Mal to my Zoe

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This Journal Is Body Positive

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Posts tagged "bi"






Happy Bi Pride/Bi Visibility Day! If you’re looking for something to do to celebrate, bisexual-community has a whole bunch of resources here. Fellow bisexuals, know that we are important, our feelings are valid, and we are not alone. (And for the last time, it’s not a phase.) Have a great day!



yo what


:’ ) so happy!

(via curiously-chamomile-queer)


I don’t get straight girls and gay guys because



But I also don’t get straight guys and gay girls because



(via bulcy-barnes)



Says Bisexual Author and Activist Yemisi Ilesanmi

I am a passionate human rights activist, trade unionist, poet, and advocate for equal rights, social justice and poverty alleviation. I hold a Master of Law degree in Gender, Sexuality and Human Rights. I write and speak on a range of issues including workers rights, gender and sexuality issues.

I coordinate the group Nigerian LGBTIs in Diaspora Against Anti Same-Sex Laws. The group was formed in 2011 when Nigerian Senate resuscitated interest in the homophobic bill entitled ‘Same Sex Marriage Prohibition’ bill, which seeks to criminalize not just same-sex marriage as the name implies, but also same sex relationship and activities including advocacy on LGBT rights or aiding and abetting anyone suspected of engaging in Same-Sex relationships. It stipulates 14 years jail term for anyone who engages in same sex relationship and a 10 year jail term for anyone who aids, abets same sex persons, it also criminalizes any advocacy on LGBT rights, (sign petition against this here)

The ‘Jail the Gays’ bill personally affects me because I identify as a Bisexual.

In my book Freedom to love all: Homosexuality is not Un-African, I take a critical look at Nigeria’s ‘Jail the Gays’ bill. I dissect the many homophobic public statements attributed to lawmakers, religious leaders and politicians. And I make a case for LGBT Rights as Human Rights and debunk the myths surrounding homosexuality in Africa. 

Sexuality rights remain a controversial issue in many parts of Africa. It is not just a controversial issue but also a taboo subject. African societies do not provide enabling environments to discuss sexual orientation issues. Homosexuality is condemned by many African leaders as Immoral, Un-African and a ‘White man’s disease’. Many countries in Africa still criminalize homosexuality. Sodomy laws remain part of the criminal laws thereby making it legally possible to persecute sexual minorities. For example Zimbabwe, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria, Tanzania and Ghana all have laws under which homosexuality can be prosecuted. In South Africa, where the constitution recognizes same-sex relationships, gays and lesbians are often attacked, molested and persecuted for their sexual orientation.

My book protests the criminalization of LGBTS, and challenges human right activists to defend human rights of everyone irrespective of gender, religion or sexual orientation.

^^this is what a bisexual activist looks like

(via peacelove-politics)


My theory of why bi tumblr is getting so much backlash of late is because of the recent study focusing on bisexuals with it’s scary statistics showing a higher rate of suicide, rape, ill health etc for bisexuals way above what was ever considered possible before.

Thanks in no small part to bi tumblr picking up on this, sharing the information, and generally publicly stating “well isn’t this messed up? we should do something about this”, these facts are leaking onto the dashboards and tags of not-so-sympathetic folks on tumblr, especially when we try and raise awareness of really pressing bi issues in tags that imply bi inclusion but actually are focused substantially more on the LG community (this is why I’m hesitant on tagging stuff LGBT nowadays, because I know biphobic blogs are more likely to see it and I might directly or indirectly instigate a flame war).

Add to that this weird nostalgia some portions of the LG community has for outdated queer theory that either only mentions bisexuality in passing or is openly dismissive/hostile to bisexuals (bisexual women in particular, which is also a product of misogyny in these communities). Lesbian TERFs in particular I’ve found are very proud of the glory days of the 60s and 70s when being queer and feminist was radical and wasn’t co-opted by the mainstream and they didn’t have to care about little annoying details like intersectionality and critical thinking within their movement.

Assimilation is of course a real concern within political movements, queer or feminist, the major irony is that they lump bisexuals into the assimilation and ~straight ally~ group because we are “tainted” and “conflicted” by different-sex attraction and are therefore the enemy within, but they are more than ready to approve of straight allies who support them and silence the complaints of bi and trans* folk with them, so the argument of keeping focus on straight allies out of the queer community never holds water with me. You can read it all in the fuckyeahbiphobia tumblr that surfaced a few months ago and the reaction to biphobia and monosexism memes on the Wipe Out Homophobia page to see what I’m talking about.
Studies like “A Population-Based Study of Sexual Orientation Identity and Gender Differences in Adult Health” pretty much fly in the face of everything groups like these hold dear, and the common reaction to any information that conflicts with a well established political theory is derision, erasure and violence.

We complicate and undermine their well-established narratives that have helped streghthen ties within their own communities as well as helped them fight against their own oppression, so they can’t have bisexuals or anyone else muddying the waters and bringing up issues that only effect them and detract from “the cause”.

That’s why these guys are so keen to keep the focus on bisexual myth-busting lists and bisexual erasure in media and biphobic microaggressions within our lives and relationships.

They want to believe that it’s just trivial bellyaching in comparison to LGT problems, obscuring the real cost in human life and well-being for real bisexuals that they are contributing to, which these studies reveal.
They don’t want any revision to their version of history where bisexuals are just a small part of activism and their community.

They don’t like to entertain thoughts that they might have even been partially responsible for the death and harm of people society allows them not to think about.
Coming from an already marginalized group that faces all of this from straight people, to think about these things is extremely uncomfortable, and the easiest thing to do is believe it isn’t real, say it isn’t your problem, to co-opt it into your own oppression so you can safely say “well this is just more of what I face” and just keep doing what you’re doing, fighting your own battles, not listening to what is being said or causing any real change.

We have real numbers on our side that scare the hell out of us, that should scare the hell out of any reasonable person, and they can’t stand to think about it let alone fight for it. It makes them uncomfortable that bisexuals are angry about this and gaining more momentum and evidence supporting our case.
Trust me, the tears and hate campaigns start flowing from these kinds of people as soon as the academic research is made public. Doesn’t matter the context, producing stats will reveal them.

(via bisexual-community)


Hello, everyone! My name is Chanthou and I am a (queer) college student doing research of the LGBTQ community. More specifically, I’m researching the view of bisexuality within the LGBTQ community. I need the opinions of all people regardless of sexuality.

If you would like to participate, please click here to take my survey. This survey is 100% confidential and will not ask for personal data (name, location, etc). It is only 10 questions long and takes about 5 - 7 minutes.

If you have any questions, concerns, or comments, feel free to send me an ask. 

Thank you!

(via asexualxbisexual)



Comic Book News of the Day: DC Comics Introduces First Transgender Character

DC Comics broke new grounds today by introducing its first transgender character Alysia Yeoh in issue #19 ofBatgirl. Although Yeoh is technically not the first trans* character in comics, she is the first to appear in a mainstream comic and author Gail Simone says Yeoh won’t be the last one:

“It’s time for a trans hero in a mainstream comic. … I’m sure it’s controversial on some level to some people, but honest to God, I just could not care less about that. If someone gets upset, so be it; there are a thousand other comics out there for those people.”

This is being handled fairly well so far, so for the love of god, don’t fuck this up, DC.

"Taking care to distinguish Yeoh’s sexual orientation from her gender identity, Batgirl writer Gail Simone noted that the character is also bisexual.”

she’s also bisexual

she’s also bisexual


(via butwewereokay)





Hi there thedailytennant, I have some issues with this post. Can’t reblog asks any so I’m gonna do it this way and send you a link. Basically what you’re saying is incorrect and also cissexist.

basically the difference is that bisexual people follow the gender binary in that there are men, and there are women, and they like those two genders. pansexuality is more open to gender as a spectrum. the way i see it is that bisexual people like men and women, whereas pansexual like people.

This sounds like you’re saying not just that our attraction only falls within the gender binary, but that we only see the gender binary. FYI most of us these days define our bisexuality as attraction to more than one gender. Most of us are cool with non-binary peeps, many of us are non-binary peeps. Stuff like this erases my non-binary siblings and that’s not cool.

it does get a bit confusing because as far as transgender/genderqueer people go, there’s always the question of what gender actually is (because whether you refer to someone as a girl or a guy or agender, their mind and body are still the same mind and body) and whether there’s actually such thing or if we’re just reacting to stereotypes — i could say i’m actually a guy because i’m more comfortable in guy clothes and doing guy things, but girls can stereotypically guy things too and still be girls. how does someone know they’re the opposite gender form their sex? sometimes i feel more like the opposite sex than my own, but i’m just not typical to my gender.

Whoa this sounds like you’re doubting the legitimacy of non-cis gender identities, which is really uncool. Anon didn’t even ask for your thoughts on gender so why are you philosophizing?

so i have a lot of thoughts about this but you didn’t ask for me to puke them out here haha so just know that bisexual people like boys with boy bits and girls with girl bits and pansexual people like anyone regardless of bits.

Whoooooa hold it there. Even if you cling to your narrow definition of bisexual as ”likes men and women” you gotta admit that trans men and trans women are men and women. Saying anything else is cissexist.

Also the rest of us don’t like people because of their genitalia so wtf.

In conclusion, read this, please.

ahhh, another day, another accusation of bisexuals somehow being ~~lesser~~ than pansexuals.

thanks for the excellent rebuttal, absquesetentia!

Think I’m gonna have to disagree on several points here. I think my biggest complaint though is that the “read this” we’re directed to basically wants to ignore the definition of the word bisexual and pretend like it can be whatever they choose to define it as. The term, bisexual was coined at a point where gender was still viewed as a very binary thing - at least, far more so than it is today. The definition of bisexual, when you look it up in the dictionary is attracted to both men and women. Saying that the etymology is inaccurate (and comparing the bi in bisexual to the pig in guinea pig) is disingenuous. All the arguments presented by the various links come down to ignoring both the etymology and dictionary definition of bisexual. 

The term pansexual was coined because some people felt the term bisexual excluded people they were attracted to. Their issue was with the term, not bisexuals. Most people I know that have adopted the term pansexual actually have a sexual orientation that is no different from most bisexuals I know. In most cases, the only difference is semantics and the interest in having to explain your sexuality when identifying as pansexual. When trying to explain what pansexuality is to bisexuals who hadn’t heard the term before, the most common response I get is “Well that’s no different from me.”

As someone who’s identified as pansexual for many years, I still use the term bisexual in most cases because I don’t want to have to explain why pansexual is a more accurate term to people who don’t get that gender exists outside of a binary. I don’t want to have to get into a long winded explanation of the gender spectrum with people when I can say bisexual and they understand what I mean.

When it really comes down to it, the two groups of people are, all too often, talking about the same thing, so bickering over the term, giving off so much hate from one side to the other (and from what I see, it’s apparently on both sides) is ridiculous. It’s just as bad as the Gay and Lesbian community giving off hate toward bisexuals and really pushes people like me to not being involved with any of these communities.

Actually, it can be whatever we choose to define it as. Here’s the etymology: The word ”bisexual” comes from a time when they thought gay men must have minds like women and lesbians must have minds like men. They invented the term ”psychosexual hermaphrodite” to explain us. Meaning we must be ”both” sexes. Bisexual was an easier way of saying that, but eventually the meaning changed. (source, and another)

Now here’s the thing. We bisexuals have claimed this word, and we have defined it however we damn well pleased since at least the birth of the bisexual movement in the 80s. We have been defining it in ways that went beyond the binary since at least 1990. All of this, we’ve been doing for decades, but of course the men writing the dictionary couldn’t give two shits about it. Because who writes the dictionary? Cishet white upper-class white male academics. I think we all know how likely they are to listen to oppressed groups.

I do agree, though, that we have far more in common than we have differences. That’s why it hurts so much to see people scrambling to get away from the bisexual label, to see people mischaracterize us and our sexuality in order to validate their own.

yessss, precious precious commentary

(via bisexualftw)

Language is powerful, and even those of use who don’t chose the bisexual label have a responsibility to ensure that the world is safe for those who do. One way to accomplish that goal is to practice saying the word “bisexual.” Say it again, “bisexual.” Paint it on the walls; wear it on a t-shirt. Write it in toothpaste on your bathroom mirror; notice it as you stare at your beautiful self. Bisexual. Say it louder; say it in public; say it to someone who might not be comfortable hearing it. Let them begin to get over their discomfort. Begin to get over your own. Ask yourself: what is it about that would that is so frightening to people? How can we lower the fear content, undo the negative associations, create new meaning, open possibilities?
Bisexual Politics:  Theories, Queries, & Visions.  Edited by Naomi Tucker. (via viktoribleu)

(via thesunnysideofbeingbi)


Did ever a headline sound more like a groan-worthy queerbaiting joke & then turn out to be an actual quote? :)

Carina Trimingham (the partner of a UK politician who took The Daily Mail to court for writing 65 queerphobic articles about her over 15 months).has given her first interview.

There’s a surprising amount of depth in there about media discourses around sexuality.

She’s a law student now. Wonder if @NUS_LGBT know. :)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Ahhh, sorry to bother you, I'm the anon who sent an ask about internalized biphobia and anxiety related to my girlfriend a few days ago? Did you get that ask or should I send it again? I value your insight and I noticed you didn't answer it yet.
bemusedlybespectacled bemusedlybespectacled Said:

Nah, it’s just that it was a heavy topic and I didn’t want to answer it without mulling it over.

I think I’m struggling with some biphobic feelings and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m a woman with another woman and we just recently talked about past partners, and she has been with men before, and something about that makes me really anxious and freaked out. I don’t think she’s lesser for having been with men, exactly, it’s just thinking about it makes me feel like crying and almost makes me have an anxiety attack. Any advice? :(

I’m thinking that this may be you’ve internalized biphobia, or it could be more of a jealousy thing than a biphobic thing. It depends on if you’re anxious that she’s been with men because they’re men, or if your’e anxious that she’s been with other people at all. It could be that you’re somehow feeling inadequate to men for whatever reason, which is a self esteem issue but not biphobia. Or you’re afraid she’ll cheat on you with a man, which is biphobic. It’s more your thoughts regarding the men rather than just the fact of them being men.



It could be said that James Bond is a cultural icon meant to reinforce a number of ideas about what it means to be a man. He’s surrounded by trappings of traditional masculinity- the perfectly fitted suit, small handgun (because a real man doesn’t need a Rambo-style machine gun to do the job), straight razor shave, uncomplicated and unsweet cocktail. For succeeding at manliness, he’s always rewarded by saving the day and having unrestricted sexual access to women.

In this scene, Silva threatens not only James Bond, but all of the masculine ideal, with rape and attempts to make that masculine ideal into an object instead of a subject. This act instantly identifies Silva as the villain- as he’s not only threatening England, but manliness as a concept. But Bond refuses to let Silva make him into an object- he returns the serve by implying that it might not be his “first time,” and by doing so, that there’s nothing inherently lesser or unmasculine about having homosexual relations. After this scene, Silva stops using emasculation as a technique and starts to go after Bond’s true weakness- his relationship with M.

This scene meant a lot to me. I’ve been a loyalist to Daniel Craig’s Bond since Casino Royale. When Daniel Craig started campaigning that Bond should be bisexual, it won huge amounts of my respect for him, but I didn’t think we’d be seeing that on screen anytime soon. Bond is such a masculine icon, as said above. And this scene… oh, I wanted to stand up and cheer.

I wish there was more, that Bond’s bisexuality had been more than a single stray line. I wish that it hadn’t been the villain who was gay, because I hated how they used Silva’s effeminacy and homosexuality to make him “creepy”, like so many other “sissy men” villains in cinema history.

But this was still such a huge step, such a fantastic victory, and Bond is canonically bi now. It means so much to me.

(Plus it means that any 00Q subtext that we want to see is that much more legit.)

For once, a leading male character in a major action movie has reacted to the topic of homosexuality by affirming it, instead of making it the butt of a joke or immediately reasserting his heterosexuality. And I give Daniel Craig so much credit for making that happen.

I had no idea that’ Craig’s bond was bisexual. I didn’t like Craig’s bond (my favorite Bond is Brosnan), but now I wonder if I’m giving him an unfair shake. This makes me really happy.

(via slythwolf)


17 mag actually managed to impress me this month in their little blip for straight girls about what to do when your friend comes out to you

(via electrick-lady)


Dear fic writers,

Here is a friendly reminder that there are sexualities other than gay and straight!

Just because a character suddenly finds themselves attracted to a member of the same sex does not suddenly mean “Gee willikers, I guess that means I’m gay!”

I may want to shake you a little when some of you folks write that.

Just a little.



This is why I love the Avengers fandom because I don’t have to sift through the fucking pile of wheat to find the single mustard seed that is fic featuring fanon-bisexual characters and not “‘not gay’ means ‘gay in denial’ and not bisexual.”

(via asspiringdictionary)