sex is complicated and people are weird

racismschool:

bemusedlybespectacled reblogged your post: So You Think You Are a Good Ally?

Regarding allies, is there a midway point? Not looking for praise, but wanting to not be hated? Because I feel like…

You shouldn’t be hated on because you are an ally. Not ever. This post is more about those self proclaimed allies that want that cookie. The people who would say they are an ally to the LGBT Community but the entirety of their ally status hinges on nothing more than the fact that they think gay people should be able to marry. 

It’s not those that do more, that AREN’T looking for extra that are being shunned. It is those that just “Want you to know that they are on your side.” Yet, really wouldn’t even stand up for you in the face of opposition. 

If you are being hated on as an ally. You should look at two specific things. How are YOU acting and who is being mean to you. If the “Mean” is coming after you’ve said something that insinuates that you are “One of the good ones.” Well, you deserve the “Mean.” However, let’s be real honest with each other. There are assholes EVERYWHERE. It could be them. Just…don’t forget to look in the mirror before you accuse someone else. 

It’s not so much hate solely because of being an ally. It’s more like… like people don’t want allies because they don’t want to need them, and yet they know they do because they’re a minority and they need the majority to support them, too, and so they get frustrated because they know it’s something they can’t accomplish on their own, but they have to deal with “allies” taking the cause and warping it and appropriating it and bending it to their own ends. And so they start hating everyone in the group that’s oppressing them, not just the hateful bigots, not just the allies-in-name-only, but also the people who are ashamed of being lumped in with that group. I’ve seen stuff on my dash like “we don’t need allies” and “allies are actually harming our cause” and it’s just really frustrating, as an ally, to know that it’s true but you still absorb that hate because you’re still part of the group, and being told on one side “why are you helping them?” and on the other side “we don’t want your help” is really hard. </whining>